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FIRST FUCKERS!!
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
02:40:21 AM
YEAH!
I loved The Da Vinci Code!
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
02:40:57 AM
Yes, I was THAT one.
Spoilers, Harry!!
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
02:45:41 AM
;)
Pope Benedict is one scary fucker!
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
02:47:06 AM
He looks evil.
I bailed on the book...
by Rupee88
May 14th, 2009
02:47:13 AM
just boring and way too much info on the Vatican..wgas...it will make huge box office whether it is good or not.
The book was certainy better than Da Vinci
by digital_soul
May 14th, 2009
02:49:39 AM
Although I read both books whilst sunbathing on holiday in Greece - something that I find generally pretty dull - and I can't really imagine enjoying the stories quite the same in any other situation. This includes represented visually over 2 hours in a cinema, as was certainly the case with the totally muddled first film. Demons was a darker book, but I remember thinking somethign about the ending was dumb as fuck and after that I never picked up another Dan Brown book again.
Who the fuck cares?
by Motoko Kusanagi
May 14th, 2009
02:50:59 AM
A V A T A R.

December.

Nothing else matters.

Harry dude I have no idea what you are talking about
by IndustryKiller!
May 14th, 2009
02:52:24 AM
I'm no going to criticize your style of writing or nitpick this or that about what you said, but after reading your review I have no more idea of whether I'm going to like this film or not based on your experience with it. I think at the very least you should be trying to help people with that decision, you're getting too stream of consciousness man. I say this not trying to be a dick, but trying to be constructive.
Motoko Kusanagi
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
02:52:25 AM
I second that.
Motoko Kusanagi
by kwisatzhaderach
May 14th, 2009
02:55:47 AM
I third that.
IndustryKiller!
by kwisatzhaderach
May 14th, 2009
02:58:16 AM
I agree, what was the score like Harry? The cinematography?
the only praise ive heard is that it sucks less than Da Vinci Co
by BMacSmith
May 14th, 2009
02:59:52 AM
Might be worth wasting a few bucks on a ticket.
huh?
by loafroaster
May 14th, 2009
03:00:33 AM
"...that old Thomas Harris novel that John Frankenheimer about flying a big bomb in to the stadium that the SUPER BOWL is going on, with a Blimp!"
THOUGHT DA VINCI CODE SUCKED
by J-Dizzle
May 14th, 2009
03:01:26 AM
But I'll give this one a try.
kwisatzhaderach
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
03:02:03 AM
Performances, pacing, pros, cons... etc.
Scorsese to direct Sinatra biopic?!?!
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
03:06:54 AM
http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/ 05/13/martin-scorsese-to-direc t-sinatra/
EXPENDABLES POSTER!!!
by Bastard_In_A_Blanket
May 14th, 2009
03:11:42 AM
http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp -content/images/expendablespos ters.jpg
I really don't care...
by Neddie Seagoon
May 14th, 2009
03:11:53 AM
...how good the movie is. Dan Brown is a hack, and if any percentage of the BO from this film goes to him, I won't be seeing it. Making money will only encourage him to write more, and that's a bad thing. Harry, if you really have such a woody for the Illuminati, why don't you read the "Illuminatus" books, by RA Wilson, or better yet, go read "Foucault's Pendulum," by Umberto Eco, which is the book Dan Brown would like to write when he grows up.
Ron Howard = working man’s Spielberg
by MorganLeafy
May 14th, 2009
03:12:04 AM
But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially since Howard seems to be in prime form lately. Kinda looking forward to this
I thought the da vinci code was ok, think the
by southafricanguy
May 14th, 2009
03:13:38 AM
critics overexagerated its flaws, though it was nt a really good movie. Personally I found the ideas far more interesting than the story, characters etc...Willing to give this a go if i hear enough good things about it...Has anyone here read the book? Any better than Da Vinci code?
Dan Brown will burn in hell!
by Chariowalda_Barbarossa
May 14th, 2009
03:13:46 AM
Actually, I don't think he will, me being a complete atheist. Just wanted to see if it really is such fun to post such mean things in a forum. People seem to enjoy doing that a lot, you know.
whooops! ...sorry industrykiller, did nt see
by southafricanguy
May 14th, 2009
03:15:53 AM
your post, helps if you read huh? Dont I look stupid now....lol
I just can't turn my brain off for conspiracy theory idiocy
by BadMrWonka
May 14th, 2009
03:22:45 AM
fucking illuminati, thousand year old codes written in english in italy, preposterous devices and secrets, and worst of all...the ridiculous idea that ANY secrets as large as the ones in these idiotic books could EVER be kept secret throughout hundreds of years.

Dick Cheney acting like an evil asshole behind the scenes? yes, definitely. evil organization existing in secrecy for thousands of years controlling the entire world's governments and economy without anyone finding any proof? suck my balls.

conspiracy wackos are one step above Scientologists in my book, and should not be celebrated or encouraged by mainstream movies where morons will see them and not be able to differentiate between what's real and what's not.

it's bad enough how many people bought The Secret...

Harry is fond of [insert anything here]
by I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looki ng_for
May 14th, 2009
03:23:20 AM
The Da Vinci Code, both book and flick, fucking sucked.

This is a colossal waste of talent and resources if ever I saw one.

JUST SAW IT ... NOT BAD!
by No Respectable Gentleman
May 14th, 2009
03:26:58 AM
Silly -- but you knew that already. Brilliantly, gorgeously mounted. Fifty times better than DA VINCI CODE.
Wait, the Illuminati are the bad guys?
by OGoncho
May 14th, 2009
03:41:49 AM
I totally did not pick up on that in Harry's description. They sound like pretty cool guys.
Also, someone turn this into a sex pun:
by OGoncho
May 14th, 2009
03:44:13 AM
"I also think it is healthy to be a little afraid of hurling really tiny things into one another"
Howard = Spielberg - everything good
by BMacSmith
May 14th, 2009
03:45:54 AM
well maybe he's more like recent SPielberg, the one that doesnt give a rats ass about fantasy/adventure/action flicks anymore. Howard doesnt show any of the creativity or sense of wonder that Spielberg did back in the day. he just shares the workmanlike, no flash directing style.
Large Hardon Collider?
by FireFriendly
May 14th, 2009
03:53:29 AM
"I also think this film is the first movie to make the LARGE HARDON Collider..."

Bit of a freudian slip there Harry my man. Its HADRON Collider

Holy shit, they have a Black Matter Bomb in it?
by David Cloverfield
May 14th, 2009
04:02:12 AM
I didn't plan on seeing this after reading the DaVinci Code (yuck) but that sounds over the top insane, especially since Harry mentioned it so casually. Ancient societies, religious symbolism, catholic intrigue... and a Black Matter Bomb under the Vatican. lulwut?
Connery's bond got into "shituations" all the time...
by white_vader
May 14th, 2009
04:02:32 AM
so don't think you're coining a phrase or anything Harry.
"And I never have a grotesque silliness like “the direct
by white_vader
May 14th, 2009
04:05:22 AM
descendent of Jesus” as a twist."

WTF? It sounds like you're trying to say you wrote it! Which we know is wrong because based on that alone you obviously can't write! Right?

It's a silly idea.
by V'Shael
May 14th, 2009
04:15:37 AM
If I was going to anti-matter the Vatican and ritually murder one pope and his 4 next in line, do you know what'd be the one thing I WOULDN'T do?

Leave an intricate set of puzzles for someone else to decode, so that they could STOP me.

Fucking. Retarded.

'HARDON COLLIDER' ha ha!!!
by DI0XHOLSTER
May 14th, 2009
04:17:49 AM
As in Josh Swaney will destroy that bitch with his large hardon collider
If they're going to blow up Catholicism
by V'Shael
May 14th, 2009
04:17:50 AM
won't mostly Protestant America be cheering for the "bad" guys?

Any religious types here want to start on the whole "Catholics aren't real Christians" schtick I keep hearing about?

BMacSmith: Howard = 'Berg minus Everything good'
by Mr Gorilla
May 14th, 2009
04:21:08 AM
That is such a brilliant summation of Howard it deserves to be repeated on every single film of his. I never saw the Da Vinci code, but it looked to me that it was a film entirely made up of scenes like that terrible exposition scene at the beginning of The Lost World, when Jeff Goldblum visits Dickie Attenborough. 'What, there's a whole other island?!' was bad enough, but then they have to squeeze in the title of the film: 'now it seems, this Lost World will be beyond our help' (or something). What happened to your BS detector, dude? You did the expositional scene in Raiders brilliantly! And all that stuff in Close Encounters too.
A note on Ewan McGregor
by Mr Gorilla
May 14th, 2009
04:27:00 AM
I was always very disappointed with the lack of commitment be brought to the Star Wars Prequels. It seemed obvious that he thought he was above all this tat - something that you don't see in the performances of proper actors such as Liam Neeson, Alex Guiness, Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Ian McDiarmid. Like, dude, if you don't want to do blockbusters, don't do them, but someone should have told you that playing a leading man in an action film is just as hard as playing Iago at the Donmar. And now it seems you are relegated to playing second fiddle.
Fucking hell - first time I've been able to log in for ages
by RighteousBrother
May 14th, 2009
04:46:37 AM
A note on Mr MacGregor - I'm not sure if it was a lack of commitment in the prequels - I mean, he looked pretty nifty with the lightsabre - surely that took a lot of commitment didn't it?
about that sinatra biopic
by emeraldboy
May 14th, 2009
04:58:25 AM
read anthony sommers and robyn swanns bio. Tina sinatra is the exec producer. This film will be a white wash. and will be a my great daddy flick. and will ignore the mafia. or will bypass.
Lost World
by BMacSmith
May 14th, 2009
04:59:25 AM
Yeah, you could tell Spielberg had no interest in that one. It was just sloppy. how many shots were there of actors looking at the camera in shock? every scene was some loud noise followed by a terrified look on someone's face. Fucking amateur.

He lost it somewhere. I think maybe he just doesnt care about those movies anymore and just wants to make historical movies now.

but yeah, Da Vinci Code was one long exposition scene.

Does Tom Hanks still have that stupid hair?
by estacado1
May 14th, 2009
05:00:54 AM
The hair alone can spoil the movie.
two big conspiracies in ireland..
by emeraldboy
May 14th, 2009
05:03:14 AM
Former and deceased irish Leader Charles Haughey helped set up the the provisional Ira. Fianna Fail deny this. and that nazis were taken into the fianna fail family after the war. they dont talk about that.
'Palpatine as the Pope'
by Gabba-UK
May 14th, 2009
05:05:49 AM
Quite possibly the most insightful thing Harry has ever said. If someone or a group found a way of getting rid, destroying or removing all religion and their dogma from this earth, not only would they get my vote, I'd try and help them, not run around Rome like a mulleted twat trying to stop them. It'll be a shorter movie however.
Emeraldboy
by vadakinX
May 14th, 2009
05:12:49 AM
You forgot the biggest conspiracy of all - that Enda Kenny is actually a puppet created by Gerry Anderson and was the original design for Scott Tracy of Thunderbirds but was thought to be too stiff. :P

Oh and The DaVinci Code sucked. It was based on a book that was based on another book that was both a lie itself and based on a hoax. No truth to it whatsover which is why it always bugged me that people thought it was all true.

Like I said,
by MorganLeafy
May 14th, 2009
05:23:10 AM
obviously Howard ain’t no Spielberg. He’s made a lot of crap but over the years he’s made some nice things too (because I like movies and all). Plus Arrested Development should earn some points with us ner…, errh, movie enthusiasts.
Howard ain’t no Spielberg
by SiNUS82
May 14th, 2009
05:38:16 AM
Thank god not! Spielberg went shit a long time ago.
Nothing beats THIS one..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
05:39:44 AM
From the Soloman Kane article..

"There's something about child endangerment in film that I'm very much a fan of."

I almost shat a kidney when I read that.

Mr Gorilla - Ewan McGregor
by offscauta
May 14th, 2009
05:46:57 AM
Ewan McGregor was over the moon to be cast in Star Wars. His uncle was in the original trilogy (Wedge) and Ewan's always been a big fan, so any problems with his performance had nothing to do with feling he was "above this tat". In fact, in early filming he had to be chastised for doing his own lightsabre noises during filming. Bad performance was more likely down to acting in front of blue screen with limited direction from a man who thinks of actors as talking props.
offscauta
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
05:50:48 AM
He was really disappointed in them though. I saw a few U.K interviews where he was talking about how they didn't turn out the way he hoped & this was just after "Attack of the Clones", so he hadn't even finished them at that point.
Watching it tonight
by Tobiwise
May 14th, 2009
05:57:20 AM
The book was way better than the davinci code, the same should go for the film, the pacing of the book was amazing, a thriller that grabs you and doesnt let go until the end, read it in 4 days, can't wait for tonight.
"a grotesque silliness"??
by Ace of Wands
May 14th, 2009
06:09:30 AM
Harry, once again talking from a position of absolute lack of knowledge. You need to to a bit more reading instead of jerking yourself off to another release of Star Trek. Check out some decent writers on this subject- Henry Lincoln, Picknett, Baigent and Leigh themselves even not some fucking hack called Dan Brown. Look into the actual facts that he based his pile of piss on and you may come away with a different opinion- you'll certainly be more enlightened and at least have "facts" that you can disagree with rather than a piece of fucking fiction- and THEN you can go back to kidsville and jizz all over yet another Star trek Blu Ray or what-the -fucking-ever.Tosser. No, strike that: Ignorant Tosser.
Harry, somebody your age will become president
by Spandau Belly
May 14th, 2009
06:16:34 AM
When you're in your 50s.
Sacrilegious movie made by Obama supporters
by BoyNamedSue
May 14th, 2009
06:26:26 AM
I have no desire to see a sacrilegious movie (based on a sacrilegious) book-made by people who, coincidentally, supported Barack Obama for president last year. I'll just go see Star Trek again instead!
Get Matt Damon for Sinatra
by Lou Stools
May 14th, 2009
06:32:03 AM
He looked just like Sinatra on the cover of the last Borne flick.
Speaking of Angels & Demons...
by Shermdawg
May 14th, 2009
06:35:23 AM
SUPERNATURAL FANS, join us in The Zone tonight for breakdown of season four's finale!

http://tinyurl.com/oy9ksu
BoyNamedSue
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
06:45:49 AM
Have you read the book? if so, you're free to consider it sacreligious all you like.

It seems to me however, that most of the people who criticise it, are blindly choosing to hate it.

If you're gonna hate something, it's only fair to allow yourself the chance to form your own opinions of it, based on content & not religious censorship.

offscauta
by Mr Gorilla
May 14th, 2009
06:56:05 AM
the man who was more interested in props than actors managed to get amazing performances from McDiarmid and Lee, among others.
Hey that sounds kinda... wait, did you say antimatter?
by ron2112
May 14th, 2009
07:00:19 AM
Antimatter?!? WTF? I saw Trek already.
'shituation'
by Windowlicker74
May 14th, 2009
07:07:51 AM
Harry introduces us to a new word and immediatly afterwards: "This is what I mean by “Shituation.” wow those writing skills...:-)
"amazing performances from McDiarmid and Lee"
by I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looki ng_for
May 14th, 2009
07:09:11 AM
Horseshit. There were zero "amazing perfomances" in those shitty flicks. McGregor was saddled with awful scripts, a shit director, and the fact that he was obviously told (or chose) to act as much like Alec Guinness as humanly possible.

McDiarmid was fine as Sidius/Palpatine, but Lee wasn't a character. It was just Christopher Lee in a Star Wars flick. Exactly the same with Sam Jackson.

DaVinci...
by BizarroJerry
May 14th, 2009
07:26:11 AM
I read the book and it wasn't great, but I liked it. I think the problem is, a large hunk of the interest in that book was built around the hidden secret about Jesus and revealing it. Honestly, that theory and the stuff hidden in paintings, etc, was more interesting than the "thriller" aspect of it. And the movie couldn't build itself up around exposition. The rest of it just built suspense by making every chapter end in a cliffhanger.
Sacrilegious...?
by BizarroJerry
May 14th, 2009
07:31:42 AM
Is this film actually sacrilegious? I've heard that said, but every plot description I've heard sounds like the church is the victim here. What's the anti-church stuff in there?

By the way, a reviewer of this movie for the Vatican newspaper (yes, they have a newspaper) said it was inaccurate, but was "harmless" entertainment. The guy even said he liked it. So, calm down, folks.

oh come on, what a ridiculous plot...
by misnomer
May 14th, 2009
07:34:34 AM
everyone knows that the Catholic Church is merely an arm of the Illuminati, it's religion endowed with borrowed Sumerian and Babylonian symbolism :)
misnomer
by Ace of Wands
May 14th, 2009
07:44:31 AM
"everyone knows that the Catholic Church is merely an arm of the Illuminati, it's religion endowed with borrowed Sumerian and Babylonian symbolism :)"

Not everyone knows that but SOME people do.

The Catholic church..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
07:47:14 AM
Is actually a masonic hat cult.

After the pope's done his public speaking stuff, they all go inside & rub their giant hats together. It's true.

in defence of shituation...
by Potatino
May 14th, 2009
08:00:39 AM
I kind of like harry's new word shituation. Combines elements of shit hitting the fan and situation to kind of mean a really bad situation. Maybe its a personal preference thing but I like it. In this instance Harry did good! Horrah!!!
BLACK SUNDAY. That one needs to be remade.
by LoneGun
May 14th, 2009
08:23:19 AM
And I know just the director to do it - Jonathan Demme. Frankenheimer's original is poorly dated and never lived up to the potential of Thomas Harris' terrifying novel. It was amazingly cast, though. I'm not generally one for remakes but I'd love to see this adapted into a better movie.

As for ANGELS&DEMONS, Harry has actually pointed out one of the very reasons I'm interested in seeing it - for the locations. I remember reading Brown's book and imagining Rome and Vatican City. The French locations were one of the things I enjoyed about THE DAVINCI CODE.

The Catholic Church protected pedophile priests...
by Fareal
May 14th, 2009
08:32:45 AM
...for many years, so I can't say enough bad things about them. They moved those monsters to other churches and they didn't tell them that these new priests had been accused of being pedophiles. These monsters then started raping a whole new set of children.

So how do you define evil? Can you image something more evil than not only protecting pedophiles, but giving them an unlimited number of children to rape, and when they are caught, moving them to another church so they can do it all over again? This, my friends, is the definition of EVIL with a capital E.

Those bishops who allowed this to happen should be in prison, and the pedophile priests who raped all of those children should be on death row. I will not be seeing this movie.
'I-am-not-the...'
by Mr Gorilla
May 14th, 2009
08:53:13 AM
'...droid-you-are-looking-for'
by Mr Gorilla
May 14th, 2009
08:54:12 AM
I disagree.
So Harry's a Jesus Freak as well...?
by The Drude
May 14th, 2009
08:57:08 AM
C'mon Harry. The most ludicrous plotline in The Da Vinci Code was that there was any descendant of Jesus at all. Jesus never existed. He wasn't a real person. You Americans and your suburban, shopping mall Christianity are so quaint.
It's not often you review a film you don't like is it.
by FACEfaceFACEface_____FACE
May 14th, 2009
08:57:17 AM
Please, correct me if I'm wrong, & point me in the direction of a review where he rips the shit out of something. ta.
Jesus does exist..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
09:02:17 AM
Little mexican fella. He cleans my pool twice a month.
This One Looks Good
by THE TRUE PINBACK
May 14th, 2009
09:10:10 AM
GODS AND DEMONS is the next film on my summer list. I'll be checking it out Friday or Saturday. I think tonioght or tomorrow I'll give THE DAVINCI CODE another look as well to whet the taste buds for this new Langdon adventure.
Brown twisted it enough times so as NOT to upset...
by performingmonkey
May 14th, 2009
09:10:10 AM
...the Church. That's what I think. A bit of a spoiler, if I remember correctly from the book, it isn't REALLY the Illuminati who are doing the bad stuff, it's clarified that they as a real group are long dead and that this other guy is doing things in their name just to stir up fear within the Church. People say there's no evidence for Illuminati and all those world-dominating groups, but just look the fuck around you, they own and run everything they just go under different names. World government. The Bildeberg Group. They are the masters of this fucking universe. However, it's unlikely that they are sinister and evil. If they WERE the world would probably be dead by now.
Jesus DID exist
by Col. Tigh-Fighter
May 14th, 2009
09:13:23 AM
There are Roman documents that talk of his crucifixion, as well as some other non-christian documents that talk about him

The question is whether he was the Son of God. That ones up for debate lol, but he did exist.

LHC and antimatter?
by ilovemrdoe
May 14th, 2009
09:20:18 AM
afaik the lhc dones't have anything to do with antimatter, but i suppose it's nice for the purpose of vague culture references
Anyone see Bloodline?
by CreamCheeseAlchemist
May 14th, 2009
09:21:41 AM
It's a documentary that peddles the same DaVinci Code bs, but unintentionally hysterical
I also liked The Da Vinci Code.
by HoboCode
May 14th, 2009
09:23:06 AM
Every year some movie gets unjustly fucked by the media. TDVC was that movie. It was a hell of a lot better than the shitty ass book.

P.S. There is no god.

Even more bs than..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
09:23:19 AM
A man being born the son of God & rising from the dead?

Wow! That must be bs!

eh scratch that
by ilovemrdoe
May 14th, 2009
09:24:42 AM
a few minutes of wikipedia-ing shows im wrong
Jesus most certainly did exist.
by BYOBkenobi
May 14th, 2009
09:28:03 AM
The idea of him as the son of man is in dispute.
Life of Brian showed it best..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
09:33:30 AM
Evereyday, there were literally hundreds, if not thousands of "prophets" on the streets. Ol' JC just happened to become popular.

He probably handed out free biscuits or something.

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."

Prequel comic?
by Trannyformers_Apologist
May 14th, 2009
09:39:10 AM
Do have to read a prequel comic book to have the story make sense?

Maybe they should have showed a special screening of The Da Vinci Code and have Tom Hanks show up then show Angels and Demons.

Then it would be great and everybody would love it!

Do you^
by Trannyformers_Apologist
May 14th, 2009
09:40:33 AM
Star Trek sucked major donkey balls.
Evidence for the historical jesus
by V'Shael
May 14th, 2009
09:43:25 AM
is scarce. So scarce, I can list all the references here :

The earliest Gospels date from maybe 70 AD, 40 years after his alleged demise.

The non-Christians who wrote about him in the years following his putative death : The Roman historian Tacitus, writing in his Annals around 110 AD, mentions one "Christ, whom the procurator Pontius Pilate had executed in the reign of Tiberius."

Bear in mind that's 80 years after the dude supposedly died.

The Jewish historian Josephus remarks on the stoning of "James, the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ."

The Talmud, a collection of Jewish writings, also refers to Christ, although it says he was the illegitimate son of a Roman soldier called Panther.

And that's IT, as far as evidence. Not, you must admit, particularly convincing when forced to stand in the cold light of day.

BYOBkenobi ...
by Animation
May 14th, 2009
09:44:24 AM
I've read at least one good book that puts forward evidence that Jesus did not exist, even as a man. You may not agree with it, and I'm not sure I do, but there was at least enough force behind it to think that, hey, I shouldnt reject the idea of Jesus' non-existence out of hand. Specifically the book is called The Jesus Puzzle, and its got some pretty compelling arguments. I can understand why some people feel that way.
Hardly Boys
by Judge Briggs
May 14th, 2009
10:01:38 AM
One of the best mocks in South Park history! "I am getting a clue."
That antimatter is a problem...
by FlickaPoo
May 14th, 2009
10:02:52 AM
...because I'm made of matter. And antimatter is anti-me. Fuck that.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT JESUS
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
10:04:08 AM
But I do know about Bale.
FlickaPoo
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
10:05:07 AM
Fecal matter doesn't count.
THEY'VE GOT THE ILLUMINATI ALL WRONG
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
10:09:07 AM
The events of the world, as being played out in this "global economic crisis", are part and parcel of the plans of the true Illuminati. They are reshaping the world as we have known it, we are being primed to serve as cattle for the masters of the New World Order. Obama, as an agent of the people, voted into position by America and adored by the world, is doing what he can to stop it. Get your ass out there and help.
I hope Harry is lying!
by berserkrl
May 14th, 2009
10:10:55 AM
That is, I sure hope his plot summary was deliberately inaccurate in order to avoid giving away the Big Spoiler (which I won't give away either). Because if it was accurate, then the movie has ruined the whole point of the book.
P.S.
by berserkrl
May 14th, 2009
10:13:38 AM
By analogy, many early reviews of _Batman Begins_ continued referring to Watanabe as Ra's al Ghul to avoid giving away the surprise. I really really hope that's what Harry's doing here.
This spoiler berserkl..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
10:18:56 AM
I hope it isn't Ewan McGregor being a villain. I saw the trailer where he was supposed to be a good guy, but he came across as a baddie to me. It just seemed so obvious that I hoped it wasn't true, otherwise the whole thing would be a waste of time.
Bale exists
by SpawnofAchilles
May 14th, 2009
10:25:18 AM
that's a fact of science
THE CHICK IN THE POSTER IS RELATED TO THE ILLUMINATI
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
10:25:27 AM
She was Avner's wife in Munich. Pretty hot.
MY GOD KNOWS GUN KATA
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
10:26:33 AM
What does yours do?
Dismantle the Catholic Church?
by geekzapoppin
May 14th, 2009
10:28:47 AM
Frankly, the world would be better off without any religions. By now humans should have gotten over believing in invisible, all-knowing, all-powerful deities. Luckily, some of us already have.
Harry can be pretty goofy sometimes...
by phaedrus007
May 14th, 2009
10:29:58 AM
"the direct descendent [sic] of Jesus" is too grotesquely silly for you but the illuminati stealing anti-matter is all cool!?? Dude... you are really funny sometimes.
major flaw...
by Lemure_v2
May 14th, 2009
10:30:23 AM
of course it wouldn't be good to kill most of Rome - I went there once and it was great - but if the church was to be dissolved over night would it make any difference? Still have to go to work and pay taxes, "God" would still exist and he'd still be listening because "he is everywhere". Nope, can't see why we need the church. Yay, Illuminati! Wonder if they can take down the church without killing anyone?
The Dark Shite
by berserkrl
May 14th, 2009
10:34:11 AM
I'm not going to say what the any of the spoilers are (anyone who wants to know can presumably find a summary of the book online). But I have in mind a spoiler that, if the movie is true to the book, makes Harry's summary crucially inaccurate.
I'm just glad the pace is faster than the last one.
by Mr Nicholas
May 14th, 2009
10:35:16 AM
FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT I PRESENT: THE ANTICHRIST SLIDESHOW
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
10:37:21 AM
Enjoy, kids!

http://tinyurl.com/q9gfqk

The Dark Shite...there's a nexus here that escapes me...
by FlickaPoo
May 14th, 2009
10:49:30 AM
...antimatter-->FlickaPoo-->fe cal matter-->Dark "Shite"-->dark matter-->the Catholic Church-->buggery-->stinky fingers-->conspiracy......so close!...I'm going to lock myself in a room, talk to myself, write on the walls with charcoal, and draw spirals until I figure this thing out...

by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
10:54:59 AM
Evidence that god exists = Bale.

Evidence that the 'illuminati' exists = Shane Hurlbut.

Tweakin' the lights, tweakin' the lights.


by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
10:55:48 AM
"Let he who illuminated this manuscript illuminate me."

What film?

Hanks
by Mr Gorilla
May 14th, 2009
10:57:41 AM
I'm sad that these films aren't totally fab, because Hanks really is fantastic, and it's good to see him doing his own action-adventure franchise. It's just shame there's not too much action in this one...
HARRY
by Six Demon Bag
May 14th, 2009
11:00:03 AM
how many films that recieve embargo are actually good??
Contraception does not exist in this dojo
by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
11:01:58 AM
Any catholics here? Anyone know a catholic?

I'm curious if the 'no contraception' rule is ever adhered to? By anyone.

Also how far does 'every sperm is sacred' go? If a catholic wife gives her catholic husband a blowjob or handjob and he spills the beans on her does that count as a sin?

I'm honestly curious.

FlickaPoo
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
11:03:24 AM
Stinky fingers to consiracy, that's quite a jump:-D!

As for the spirals, just don't go humming "All along the watchtower" & you should be ok.

DICK CHENEY IS THE POPE-IN-WAIT OF THE NEW SATANIC WORLD ORDER
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:04:59 AM
The Inquisition is an institution of the Roman Catholic religion. It was developed to stem "heresy", i.e., the gospel of salvation as found in the Bible. The Inquisition was zealously carried out by Romish Inquisitor-Generals, priests, and monks. And oh yes, they had the support of the secular authorities. Know ye not that the Dark Ages were dark because the papacy was at the height of its monstrous glory--ruling over kings and queens and encouraging recusancy towards any ruler that did not bow to the devil/papacy? Romanism is the Devil's religion, therefore papists do the works of the Devil. Only the Devil could inspire men to the deeds recounted by Samuel Clarke in his book Martyrology circa 1651. Papists have tortured and killed Christians for centuries. These are grievous crimes that are loathsome to even list but multitudes endured these for the gospel's sake. Christian friend, if YOU were before the Inquisition and they wanted you to say Jesus is a piece of bread, would you do it? Many of your brothers and sisters held out for the cause of Christ. They resisted to the blood striving against sin. Here are a just a few of the tortures they went through--

- Skin flayed off of head, face and body
- Nipples pulled off
- Fried alive in pans
- Bound to pillar head down and roasted
- Mouth slit back to ears
- Crucified upside down
- Put in cauldrons of boiling oil
- Thrown out of windows upon upward facing spears
- Bodies gored through mouths with pikes
- Arms cut off
- Torturous slow burning e.g., burn soles of feet, then up to ankles, mid-calf, etc. until dead
- Bellies burnt until bowels fell out
- Women stripped, hung from tree by their hair and scourged
- Tourniquet placed on head and twisted until eyes came out
- Ears bored out
- Tongue cut out
- Set down (by pulley) into a fire by degrees
- Thrown to dogs
- Hung up by the heels and choked with smoke
- Smothered in caves on mountains - Hearts pulled out, which the papists gnawed with their teeth.
- Some roasted upon spits over a soft fire
- Some had their bowels pulled out
- A smith had his brains beaten out on his anvil with a hammer
- Some had sharp instruments forced under their nails and other body parts
- Some racked until their bowels broke out
- Some had their throats cut with butcher knives
- Knocked on the head with axes
- Naked women left hung up by one leg on trees until they died
- Some slain and their body parts set on stakes for 30 miles streches
- Some had their noses and breasts pulled off with red hot pinchers
- Some had their flesh torn with the claws of wild animals
- Murdered in a church during sermon
- Some hanged by one foot, their hands and breasts in the water
- Some hung up by one hand with weights of lead at their heels
- Two tied together and slain
- Some were torn in pieces by horses
- A legion of soldiers cut some to pieces with swords
- Some had boots of boiling oil put on their legs over a small fire.
- Some hung up on trees by the middle til they died of hunger
- Women's bellies ripped up and their children trod underfoot

Is it any wonder Cheney is on a public campaign to justify torture? He is preparing America and the world for an age of indiscriminate violence to be perpetrated upon those who do not obey the Illuminist masters.

Jesse Ventura has joined the resistance against Cheney's Satanic revolution:

VENTURA: I do a lot of reading. I don't watch much TV. This year's reading, I covered Bush's life. I covered Guantanamo and a few other subjects. And I'm very disturbed about it.

I'm bothered over Guantanamo because it seems we have created our own Hanoi Hilton. We can live with that? I have a problem. I will criticize President Obama on this level; it's a good thing I'm not president because I would prosecute every person that was involved in that torture. I would prosecute the people that did it. I would prosecute the people that ordered it. Because torture is against the law.

KING: You were a Navy SEAL.

VENTURA: That's right. I was water boarded, so I know -- at SERE School, Survival Escape Resistance Evasion. It was a required school you had to go to prior to going into the combat zone, which in my era was Vietnam. All of us had to go there. We were all, in essence -- every one of us was water boarded. It is torture.

KING: What was it like?

VENTURA: It's drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you -- I'll put it to you this way, you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.

KING: Even though you know it's not going to happen -- even though before it, you know you're not going to drown.

VENTURA: You don't know it. If it's -- if it's done wrong, you certainly could drown. You could swallow your tongue. You could do a whole bunch of stuff. If it's it done wrong or -- it's torture, Larry. It's torture.

KING: A lot of things to go into, Jesse. What do you make of the Cheney/Limbaugh --

VENTURA: I don't have a lot of respect for Dick Cheney. Here's a guy who got five deferments from the Vietnam War. Clearly, he's a coward. He wouldn't go when it was his time to go. And now he is a chicken hawk. Now he is this big tough guy who wants this hardcore policy. And he's the guy that sanctioned all this torture by calling it enhanced interrogation."


by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
11:08:53 AM
BSB that's a hardcore post bro. Now can we go back to cracking Bale jokes?
Cobra--Kai
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
11:09:45 AM
I know a very strict Catholic who adheres to that totally. Fucking insane.

I also knew a few million Africans who adhered to it. Unfortunately, the Pope murdered them all.

"Condoms? In a continent plagued by the HIV virus? We can't have that! What would our non-existent deity think?" Fucking loonies, one & all.

Harry, your use of shituation...
by firewhale
May 14th, 2009
11:09:49 AM
...is so FETCH! Keep it up - all of us losers who want to talk like the cool kids will start using it and you can bask in the glow of how awesome you are.
BALE IS MERCIFUL
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:13:55 AM
His Rant will tear your soul asunder, but he regards your body as your personal temple, with respect.

by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
11:18:33 AM
Man, I don't even know how you COULD adhere to that?

Not to get too graphic but balls constantly create sperm and that needs release.

That kind of enforced abstinence must really mess with your mind.

Or make you blind.
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
11:23:38 AM
Depends how resourceful you are. I suppose if you had a little rendevouz with Madame Palm & her 5 lovely daughters, there's probably a way to put that stuff back in.
Angels & Demons was a much better story...
by allykatD
May 14th, 2009
11:23:58 AM
than The Da Vinci code anyway, so it's really not surprising that it's a better movie. The only reason Da Vinci code got made first is because people went ape shit over it. Oddly, I couldn't even read through The Da Vinci code whereas with A&D I couldn't put it down.
AUTO-FELLATIO
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:25:27 AM
There's your answer. Out and in, no one knows but you and God.
The Dark Shite...where there are stinky fingers...
by FlickaPoo
May 14th, 2009
11:26:24 AM
...there are conspiracies...trust me.
Cobra--Kai...nocturnal emission...not a sin...
by FlickaPoo
May 14th, 2009
11:28:44 AM
...fact. Of course I never had one because I was too busy um...releasing on purpose.
I like your style, FlickaPoo.
by mrfan
May 14th, 2009
11:33:30 AM
BSB
by HoboCode
May 14th, 2009
11:35:20 AM
I'm pretty sure you're the only reason I still come to this crap site.
Nocturnal emission..
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
11:36:15 AM
That's a good name for a band!
What about Tom's hair?
by Xiphos_2
May 14th, 2009
11:38:09 AM
Is he still sporting that bizarro proto-mullet/two dead hedgehogs on the top of his dome hair style? Man that wig beat anything Nic Cage ever glued to his mellon.
IN BALE WE THRUST
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:39:21 AM
Bale sanctions sex. And lots of it.
HOBO
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:40:16 AM
Thanks pally.
Robert Shaw is cooler than anyone living today
by DoctorWho?
May 14th, 2009
11:42:19 AM
Damn straight.
I only know of the inquisition from Mel Brooks...
by Stuntcock Mike
May 14th, 2009
11:48:32 AM
History of the World. Funny as fuck.
STUNTCOCK
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:49:56 AM
Can you do something with In Bale We Thrust? Mess around with the dollar bill at AIBN.com?
BSB restores my faith in humanity
by Stuntcock Mike
May 14th, 2009
11:50:33 AM
several times a day. Bale be praised.
BSB
by Stuntcock Mike
May 14th, 2009
11:51:27 AM
I'll alert the art department. It will be done.
STUNTCOCK
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
11:53:44 AM
Graci, graci. Praise Bale.
Please tell me that they got rid of the helicopter scene
by chimpjnr
May 14th, 2009
12:04:58 PM
That was by far the worst part of the book.
Harry, you'll have your contemporary
by onezeroone
May 14th, 2009
12:24:08 PM
as pope or president by the time you turn 80, maybe 70, if you get lukcy. It's inevitable.
How much did they Harry?
by johnyaztec
May 14th, 2009
12:24:23 PM
I guess Harry liked it cause he got to see it for free.
How much did they Harry?
by johnyaztec
May 14th, 2009
12:24:32 PM
I guess Harry liked it cause he got to see it for free.
THIS IS NOT YOUR HOLY FATHER'S ANGELS AND DEMONS
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
12:35:27 PM
Note to Ron Howard:
by AsimovLives
May 14th, 2009
12:37:46 PM
Your daughter is great. You aren't.
The DaVinci Idioticy
by AsimovLives
May 14th, 2009
12:39:37 PM
That movie is so bad, it even made an atheist like me want to defend the catholic church from the movie's bullshit idiotic inventions. And i'm hardly the church's biggest fan.
BSB.
by Stuntcock Mike
May 14th, 2009
12:48:13 PM
Ask and ye shall recieve.......http://www.ainti tbalenews.com/in-bale-we-thrus t.html
http://tinyurl.com/r9fdks
by Stuntcock Mike
May 14th, 2009
12:49:09 PM

by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
12:52:33 PM
$100 BALE BILL! PROFESSIONAL!
STUNTCOCK - WHAT CAN I SAY
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
12:53:51 PM
That is damned professional! Those are barely legal tender.
THOSE ARE GOING INTO THE STOCKING STUFFERS
by BringingSexyBack
May 14th, 2009
12:59:29 PM
Balemas can't come soon enough.
The book a little ahead of its time...
by #1 Zero
May 14th, 2009
01:03:13 PM
with the hadron collider plot. I just picked up the book and started reading a little of it. It came out in 2000 or 2001 and this was way before anyone was as skeptical of the hadron collider as they are today. So I give Dan Brown a little credit for being a little ahead of the curve on that, but what I've read so far of the book, its a little, I don't know, "pulpy" or not serious enough. But what else can you expect from popular fiction. I mean I think we can all agree it's not Shakespeare we're analyzing here.
HATERS!!
by BlkSamri
May 14th, 2009
01:31:07 PM
The amount of ignorance on the plot of this book/movie is sad. If someone would read the book, THE WHOLE PLAN WAS SO THAT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD SAW HOW THE BIG BAD PLAN WOULD DEVELOPE!! And not to give too much away, but the "real" bad guy PURPOSELY dug up an ancient cult to make his plan work perfectly. Call me crazy, but I liked this book, a lot.
As a member of The Illuminati, I'm not impressed.
by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS
May 14th, 2009
01:31:34 PM
We go around secretly giving kids toys, putting money on benches next to sleeping homeless people and covertly funding Uwe Boll movies.

We don't blow people up.

Screw this film..Go see STAR TREK AGAIN!!!
by Six Demon Bag
May 14th, 2009
01:33:29 PM
Screw this film and Star Trek
by Fa_Tass_DinoMolester
May 14th, 2009
01:42:04 PM
See T:S and Drag Me to Hell!
And here comes wacky Alex Jones........
by Stuntcock Mike
May 14th, 2009
01:49:29 PM
BSB ... been working with Eli Roth?
by ReportAbuse
May 14th, 2009
02:15:18 PM
There's some stuff there that could well go into the next Hostel flick.
Trailer for The Road is up on yahoo...
by jones1899
May 14th, 2009
03:35:30 PM
Nice. http://movies.yahoo.c om/premieres/13468916/standa rdformat/
Large Hard-On Collider... Huh huh! Huh! That was cool.
by YotzVonFrelnik
May 14th, 2009
03:48:34 PM
Ban all Dioxholsters please
by MattmanReturns
May 14th, 2009
03:53:53 PM
It's the only way to be sure.
no wonder the Church likes this one
by oisin5199
May 14th, 2009
04:18:58 PM
because a central conceit of the film is that church is actually relevant and that anyone would actually care if it went away. Ha! Fiction.
Why is it whenever I hear "symbology"...
by manicfanatic
May 14th, 2009
04:46:36 PM
I think of Boondock Saints.
Dioxholster does not exist in this dojo
by Cobra--Kai
May 14th, 2009
05:33:39 PM
Diox you should be pleased - it's like having your very own clone.

You could send your clone out to buy beers for you, watch the game, or even have a threesome with your girl - it's all good baby.

Two Diox are better than one.

THAT WEIRD SEX SCENE IN THE FIRST ONE
by lockesbrokenleg
May 14th, 2009
05:34:05 PM
Had me rolling on the floor.
Both Da Vinci Code and Bible are works of fiction
by jleft
May 14th, 2009
07:56:38 PM
Just ask Dawkins !
It was in the movie too.
by lockesbrokenleg
May 14th, 2009
08:41:43 PM
It came on the screen, and it was so awkward, I was just like, "WHAT?!"
A V A T A R
by rogueleader66
May 14th, 2009
09:04:59 PM
Guess what? Don't care about Avatar right now, and the more Cameron cock sucking I see the less I care. When the fuck are we going to see a trailer? Footage? ANYTHING FOR FUCK'S SAKE. This top secret we are not revealing anything until the last minute BULLSHIT just pisses me off. Cameron gets a free pass because he has made good movies? Fuck that, show me something, ANYTHING. Until that starts happening, fuck Avatar. Everything else matters EXCEPT that fucking movie.

Whew ok I feel better, rational thought resuming.

Maybe I'll watch it on DVD...
by Citizen Sane
May 14th, 2009
09:09:27 PM
...but DaVinci Code was FUCKING BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Avatar=Snakes on a plane.
by The Dark Shite
May 14th, 2009
09:48:27 PM
Unseen & overhyped. You know it's true. It won't just be your eyeballs that are fucked.
Avatar - Watchmen Part III
by lockesbrokenleg
May 14th, 2009
10:03:44 PM
An overhyped piece of shit that will bomb.
First of all
by Squancho
May 14th, 2009
10:59:33 PM
The words "Pope" and "Kenobi" in the same sentence count as a spoiler, Harry. Second, this should be a much better flick than the first one, not only is the book better, but I like they made Langdon already in the shit because of his actions in the last film. Plus, you have MacGregor, he's almost always good. And a finale that is so crazy over the top, that it can't help but be awesome. Oh, and a henchman who's down with the herb.
Cameron....
by Almega
May 15th, 2009
12:28:47 AM
has to earn my trust again after what he did with Terminator 3. Just sayin'. Avatar better be the shit, or be shit. Fuck it. I'm not following the hype. It'll be a rental.
Well....
by crankyoldguy
May 15th, 2009
12:29:15 AM
as a secular Jew, I find the history behind religions, especially forms of Christianity, fascinating, go figure. Despite the claims that the stuff in Da Vinci Code, the Priory, etc. is all scam and such, I actually don't buy it. Not that Leonardo was in a secret society(well maybe, who knows, really?). Same goes for claims of Illuminati and conspiracies. This book was actually far better, much more gripping, than Code was. I expect it to be a better film as well.
And Jesse Ventura in 2016
by crankyoldguy
May 15th, 2009
12:36:08 AM
or 2012 if things don't all fall right as they should in the next four years. Ventura would trounce the Palin twit and give her the squeal ass-fucking she deserves, too.
Titty fuck time!
by Fa Fa Fooey
May 15th, 2009
01:16:19 AM
"Too late" -Igor
Cobra--Kai
by QuandraX
May 15th, 2009
01:53:57 AM
I am a Catholic. =)
Wow.
by NixEclips
May 15th, 2009
04:02:23 AM
Reading that review was a shitacular shituation. "Hardon Collider"? Really? And I love this gem: "BLACK SUNDAY, you know… that old Thomas Harris novel that John Frankenheimer about flying a big bomb". What is it that John Frakenheimer did, there? Dammit, man. Print your shit out and read it, first.

by Cobra--Kai
May 15th, 2009
04:26:52 AM
QuandraX, well then to put it delicately...on the subject of 'emissions'... what's the official Papal ruling?
Didn't see Da Vinci Code.
by maximilian merkins
May 15th, 2009
04:45:37 AM
And ain't gonna waste a second watching this. Life is short, and I'm getting old.
just saw it...
by kiwikommander
May 15th, 2009
04:52:11 AM
it sucked balls. plot was crap, you could see the ending a mile away. typical red herring followed by oh my god i cant believe its the guy that was friendly all along. boring as hell. da vinci code was a way better film. mullet and all.
Almega
by The Dark Shite
May 15th, 2009
05:53:41 AM
Cameron didn't make T3, which is probably one of the reasons it was shit. He did make Titanic however, which is even worse.

Cobra--Kai, I believe the official papal ruling on "emissions" is to wipe it on a young orphan boy.

Re: The book a little ahead of its time...
by ElPaw
May 15th, 2009
06:47:14 AM
That's because the LHC is not even in the book. The film producers put it in because it is in recent media memory. In the book it's just a generic anti-matter factory. Which doesn't yet exist in reality, anywhere in the world. (To make antimatter you need to create positrons, antiprotons and antineutrons, and have them form atoms. Noone has yet achieved this). And the LHC is not an antimatter factory. It's just a proton collider.
No Catholic adheres to the no-contraception thing any more
by white_vader
May 15th, 2009
10:19:13 AM
as the only one who can afford it is - Mel Gibson! And so we come full circle...

Dark Shite, that one's for you mate.

Off topic: Why does Joaquin Phoenix look so much like
by white_vader
May 15th, 2009
10:28:07 AM
Mel Gibson these days? It's getting as creepy as the Josh Hartnett/Tommy Lee Jones thing. Or the Brad Pitt Robert Redford thing. Bloody remakes man...
When are we going to start seeing Terminator reviews?
by Turd Furgeson
May 15th, 2009
10:44:29 AM
This movie has 6 days to make it's money, then the Bale God appears and takes over....
symbology is not a word
by doctor_gonzo
May 15th, 2009
10:45:14 AM
For the love of god, would people stop saying "symbology." It is not a freaking word. The word is "symbolism" and it is used in the exact way you used "symbology" in your review. Don't you have spell check?
Howard is a Ginger
by holy____batman
May 15th, 2009
11:35:32 AM
he has no soul to save
Anyone who sees this movie
by Fa_Tass_DinoMolester
May 15th, 2009
11:45:41 AM
is an enemy of Jesus, and will burn in hell along with Jews, Blacks, Gays, Muslims, Commies, Babies, Middle-Aged people, old people, scientists, the college-educated, and Monica Lewinski.
And Alex Trebeck, that pansy!
by Fa_Tass_DinoMolester
May 15th, 2009
11:47:34 AM
The number of the Pope is 666
by Hasselhoffflying
May 15th, 2009
11:48:54 AM
Babylon is falling. P.S. HARRY IS THE SHIT DEMON!!!!
I didnt read because of spoilers..
by Hasselhoffflying
May 15th, 2009
11:52:47 AM
but if there is an albino guy in this it's going to rock!!!
This film was POOR!
by scriptgirl_nipples
May 15th, 2009
01:14:11 PM
One of the worst films that I've seen.
I finally agree with one of your reviews Harry
by ChanceMinter
May 15th, 2009
01:23:19 PM
God, thank you. After reading Massawyrm who at least had good reasons seemingly to not like it, then reading Capone and his major fuck up of stating this film is a sequel to The Da Vinci Code and not a prequel just made me think he didn't even take the time to watch this movie. I'm very glad to see your review. Because it is right on!
Goddamnit your reviews are useless Harry.
by IL_Deuce
May 15th, 2009
01:32:20 PM
Why do I even bother reading them anymore?!

All I want to know... is that godawful ending from the original book in this film? I seriously hope not. If I see Robert Langdon jump out of a helicopter and use a piece of foil as a parachute... I will immediately kick the head of the person sitting in front of me.
CORRECTION...TITLE SHOULD BE
by Hasselhoffflying
May 15th, 2009
01:52:07 PM
Harry fondles Angels & Demons!!!
Red Matter now all the rage
by Anything But Tangerines
May 15th, 2009
05:23:49 PM
the mysterious volatile substance will dominate scripts for the next 2 decades bank on it
Question for those who have seen the film
by Anything But Tangerines
May 15th, 2009
05:28:57 PM
How big of a deal is it when they finally decode this upside down "ILLUMINATI" thing? I went apeshit when I first saw the teaser and that reality-shattering revelation was thrust upon me. I wept in awe and was speechless for days. Maybe it was the musical accompaniment.
Just saw it
by m_reporter
May 15th, 2009
06:30:29 PM
What a convoluted and, at times, confusing mess.

I really didn't give a shit about any of the characters and Tom Hanks looked like someone filled him with sleeping pills through the whole thing. Also, Ron Howard's direction is uninspired as usual.

Only bright point I can think of is Ewan McGregor, but I like that guy almost anything anyway so it's not much of a praise.

Harry Has Killed All Hope for this Movie....
by ass clown
May 15th, 2009
08:25:45 PM
I had moderate expectations on this one, but with the Harry Knowles approval, I now know that it is a pile of dog shit. Harry, you liked Episode 2, you said MI:3 was maybe the best spy movie ever, you praised Daredevil, and now this. I have come to realize that you're reviews are helpful in that I take the opposite action that is suggested. Thank you, I will skip this one now.
You fat bastard
by OptimusCrime
May 15th, 2009
09:11:00 PM
You like everything. Dan Brown is the worst author working today, or is at least tied for that honor with James Patterson.
Yeh you know the Harry stamp in this case..
by quantize
May 15th, 2009
09:36:19 PM
...confirms its total shit.. apart from the fact you know is some psuedo suspense mystery relating to religious horseshit.
Cheers white_vader,
by The Dark Shite
May 15th, 2009
11:27:01 PM
It isn't a talkback without Mel.

He IS the illuminati.

I watched it tonight.
by antonphd
May 16th, 2009
01:32:50 AM
1. Fuck people who sit in the movie and just talk like they are in a restaurant. 2. I enjoyed the film. I liked TDC better, but this was fun. 3. The Talking of Pelham 123 has to have the worst trailer of all time. 4. I'm sitting down to read Earthy Powers by Michael Burleigh author of Sacred Causes cause even a B film about a smart person is enough to get me to buy a history book to read over the weekend.
dash - dash - dash - dash - dash
by whitty
May 16th, 2009
02:33:46 PM
Harry, it's not difficult to learn how to use dashes correctly. Just look it up on Google already.
BoyNamedSue
by whitty
May 16th, 2009
02:36:18 PM
Since there is no God, and since religion is for ignorant suckers, the term "sacreligious" has no meaning whatsoever.
Ben Stein Knocked Out Dan Brown
by SupermanEmpire
May 16th, 2009
05:33:28 PM
Stein seeked him out, and fucking blasted him in the teeth. Brown hit the floor quicker then an atheist exudes arrogance in an argument about religion...then Stein found Bill Mauer, dropped kicked him in the back fucking snapping his spine...shortly there after Stein fucked his wife in front of him while Mauer lay motionless and helpless on the floor crying then begging for funding of stem cell research to regenerate his spinal cord.....this scenario is just as truthfull and likely as Dan Browns bullshit fictional theories displayed in "demons", and "divinci".....Harry, the fact that your radical Leftist beliefs are starting to effect your opinions on film, is scary. Fuck this movie, as far as I'm concerned its Borefest II: Death of Tom Hanks Career
Man, this movie was dumb...
by KEVIN_COSTNERS_RECYCLED_PISS
May 16th, 2009
07:12:57 PM
Just got back from seeing it. It's basically a Michael Bay film without the 'splosions.
Is that a Large Hardon Collider?
by StarBlitzer
May 16th, 2009
10:44:00 PM
Or are you just happy to see me?
Dan Brown doesn't write books...
by J.B.M.A.
May 16th, 2009
10:49:41 PM
...he writes treatments for film scripts. Everything about his prose screams "This is what it'll be like in the movie!". I'm suprised there are no stage directions or camera moves in the text...

Having said that, the novels are fun in their own crappy way. Deception Point would've made a better film than either of the Langdon books though.

NEEDS GIANT BOGIMIL ROBOTS
by Sal_Bando
May 17th, 2009
01:03:17 PM
You know I'm right.
Cinematography
by Jango_Speck
May 17th, 2009
01:03:18 PM
Supposedly, the Vatican wouldn't allow Howard to shoot in most (all?) of the famous buildings. This is really obvious because the CG architecture background shots are almost as bad as SW prequel shots. The lighting is weird and some of the footage just looks bad. I saw this at the Hollywood Arclight, so I would expect that's as good an image as anywhere else. I wouldn't give too much credit to the cinematographer- he didn't have to do much on this one. I would say that this film is good for one thing- editing. I read A&D after TDVC movie came out, and I loved it. The ending of the movie falls way short of the novel ending, IMO.
"I suppose at some juncture in my life, if I’m lucky – a contemp
by jaysin420
May 17th, 2009
02:19:58 PM
Ok now how about a review from someone who's not a total retard.
What a shock!
by Khan_Noonien_Zing
May 17th, 2009
04:18:51 PM
Angels is running, what, about 35% at Rotten Tomatoes right now. Naturally, Harry writes a glowing review. He can barely mention its obvious and glaring flaws, before moving on to the next thing he just LOOOOOOVED about it. Gimme a break. When was Harry's last bad review? About 2 or 3 years ago? That's pretty much AICN these days. Every other reviewer at least has the guts to throw in a scathing review now and then in amongst their glowing endorsements of "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past". But if Harry doesn't like a movie (if that's even possible these days) he just doesn't review it. So now it's just one asskissing "review" after another from Harry. C'mon dude. If a movie sucks, have the nuts to say it sucks.
saw it last night...
by omadayus
May 18th, 2009
02:01:35 AM
It was OK--worth a matinee or rental; won't bother watching it again. Tom Hanks was a bit more believable in his intellectual action mode this time out. It's hard to capture the oomph of Dan Brown's frenetic prose onto film. I always pictured someone like Neeson, Clooney, Quaid (or even Ford!) doing Langdon justice on the screen. Can't wait for the next Langdon book...
Neither Work
by unclebusu
May 18th, 2009
10:56:26 AM
Agreed ClarenceBeaks, Hanks does need to find his way back to comedy. http://drivein77.typepad.com/d rivein77/
Was the 'Burbs one of the greatest movies ever?
by maitlanr
May 18th, 2009
11:24:34 AM
Yes...the answer is yes.
the large hardon collider
by Arghh
May 19th, 2009
08:31:20 AM
that was funny
Harry likes this crap but hates TERMINATOR
by zooch
May 22nd, 2009
09:25:22 PM
boring. next.
As bad as anything I've ever seen
by Drunken Rage
May 31st, 2009
06:53:17 AM
Just breathtakingly awful on every level.
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