Beaks here...

For his first film as a director of someone else's material (and his second to be distributed without Bob and Harvey Weinstein), Kevin Smith has chosen A COUPLE OF COPS, a buddy-cop comedy structured around the disappearance of a 1952 Topps Andy Pafko baseball card. It stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, and... well, what else do you need to know? This will either be a brilliantly unconventional pairing or the next SHOWTIME.

According to our spy BigZ, who checked out the film at a recent test screening, A COUPLE OF COPS is no SHOWTIME - nor is it LOOSE CANNONS or THE HARD WAY or DOWNTOWN or COLLISION COURSE. Evidently, it's pretty damn funny. In fact, if BigZ is on the money here, it sounds like this could easily open to more than ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO grossed in its entire theatrical run. And I'm 100% basing this on his "Rashida Jones in her lingerie" comment.

BigZ's review is brief, but he does manage to give away what may be one of the film's biggest laughs, so beware. And, yes, the title is no longer A COUPLE OF DICKS. If this infuriates you, feel free to make your displeasure known in the below talkback. (My opinion: if this isn't a concession to the MPAA, either change the title completely or stick with "Dicks". A COUPLE OF COPS is just insultingly bland.)

Big Harry,

If you use this call me BigZ

Saw you didn’t have any reviews up of the new Kevin Smith movie, “A Couple of Dicks”. So here ya go...

First off we were told the title is “A Couple of Cops,” now who knows what the thing will be called when it comes out but as far as I’m concerned if they call it ACOC I’ll ram my fist up someone for being that dumb. Possibly the most generic title ever. FYI they made us sign NDAs but did not actually check our ID so I am sure they will be amused by the alias I used which I will not repeat. Although the word “kack” is featured.

I digress, the movie ROCKED. The scenes with Stifler in the back of the car with Bruce and Tracy are fucking golden. I am going to keep this spoiler free but will mention a couple things which will prove to be memorable. We have Tracy dressed in a cellphone outfit while he is undercover which leads to the stock buddy-cop scene with Tracy and Bruce being shat on by their superior in his office for ruining an ongoing investigation. As they hand over their badge and gun the scene went from being a retread of EVERY Lethal Weapon and Beverly Hills Cop movie to completely kick-ass due to the outlandishness of Tracy STILL IN HIS CELL-PHONE OUTFIT during the whole scene. Oh, and he ends up on youtube stealing a kids bike in yes, you guessed, the cell-phone outfit.

The music though I am sure is mostly stock perfectly sets up the movie as what you hope it will be, a pitch-perfect take on the old-school 80’s/early 90’s buddy cop movies. You have more synthesizers than you can shake a stick at. It is perfect. No Jay-Z stupid shit, No Limp Bizkit or any new pop crap. Just cheesy 80’s cop music. PERFECT. Now who knows if that will stay the same but I am hoping so. KEVIN YOU LISTENING?

The plot revolves around Bruce Willis getting a baseball card stolen by Stifler (who enjoys taking a shit at interesting times) which makes him unable to pay for his daughters wedding. Yes, you heard that right. That is the actual plot. I know it sounds RIDICULOUS but works perfectly and sets up the tone they are going for.

Now there are some misfires, Adam Brody was hit and (mostly) miss as a dumb young cop trying to please Kevin Pollak. Pollack as usual is of course his usual awesome self. Also, the gangster played by Guillermo from Weeds is pretty much just that, Guillermo from Weeds. Now I’m not saying he’s not funny but HE IS THE EXACT SAME CHARACTER. The only thing to take me out of the movie is waiting for Mary-Louise Parker to walk her sweet ass in to slap him around. Also once again the plot is about a stolen baseball card so I’m sure this wont win any Oscars.

But Kevin Smith has shown he can direct OPM (Other People’s Material) and still infuse his own wit. And he has nailed the tone and feel of the old-school cop movies we all grew up on.

But we will all come out of this saying two things... Why do we not get a better look at Rashida Jones in her lingerie? AND How is an Andy Pafko card worth so much?!?!

I know this wasn’t too in-depth but I am a few vodka tonics in to my Mad Men marathon and busy slapping my secretary on her ass.

Do yourelf a favor and check these Dicks out when they are unsheathed in 2010... God I wish I was a copywriter for the ads for this movie. Too much fun...

-BigZ

A COUPLE OF COPS is currently scheduled to hit theaters on February 26th, 2010. Looking forward to it.